Bill Day For Congress

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20 Foot Sea Level Rise - We're All Gonna Die!

Bicycle To Work, Donate You Car To Al Gore

Subsidize Mexico's Economy With Funding From The Border Patrol

Your Taxes Are Too Low

Hypnotherapy For Everyone

The Department of Peace: My Answer To Those Who Want To Kill Us

Black Power!  Free Mumia!

Stop the Zionist oppression of Hamas

My Practice

© 2008, www.voteday.org

Paid For And Authorized By Massive Legions Of Voters Supporting Bill "The Crush Puppy" Day

Hello, my name is William Day, and I am running for Congress in the 1st District in Virginia as a Democrat. In 2007 I ran for the 31st District in the Virginia House of Delegates, and I feel my loss in that race uniquely qualifies me as the best replacement candidate after our nominee withdrew from consideration after it was disclosed that he had a history of financial failure. Think of me as a more creative Frank Lautenberg, coming to save the day.

I bring a wealth of experience as a candidate, and will offer a unique opportunity to implement the vision and wisdom of my mentor Dennis Kucinich by placing the United States House of Representative under hypnosis. You've probably seen this before in comedy routines. Just imagine how the quality of the Congress would rise if the members could be placed under hypnosis while they are in session and directed, by me, of course, to implement the progressive vision of our illuminati!

We could avoid the looming dangers of Global Warming by mandating the use of compact fluorescent light bulbs, mandating the use of mass transit and use bicycles to commute, go to the grocery store, obtain critical mental health services, and pick up our unemployment checks. We could reduce the inflow of undocumented workers from Mexico by bringing the hammer down on plutocratic big businesses, and use that money to subsidize the Mexican economy such that there would be less incentive for Mexicans to leave their country. The small numbers that then do immigrate into our country we can easily absorb with full amnesty, giving proper respect and love to our fellow human beings. We must expand the mental health services provided by the state so that all residents, regardless of how they might be in delusion and not believe they need it, will be provided with quality outpatient psychotherapy.

So stare into the swirling icon, and repeat to yourself "I am going to vote for William Day". The more you do it, and encourage your friends to do so as well, the better off our district, and our nation will be. We are all very ill, and in great need of help. We can get that help on November 6th.

Campaign Updates

Be A Day Laborer!

Our campaign needs folks to knock on doors, pass out literature, and work at public events. Not in the District? No problem. Can't vote? This is how you can make a difference. Find out what a day in the life of a Day Laborer is all about, and you won't even have to cut grass, dig ditches, or paint.

Signing up to be a day laborer is quick and easy. Just come to our campaign headquarters and hang out in front, and we'll pick you up and take you to where we're working that day. There's no paperwork to fill out, and no references are required -- just a willingness to help us get the job done!

So come on out, and be a Day Laborer!

UPDATE: We've learned that some people who showed up to volunteer last weekend wound up being taken to various locations where they were told to engage in various acts of physical labor by individuals not affiliated with the campaign. Meanwhile, other individuals who were picked up by our campaign staff at the specified meeting locations demanded payment at the end of the day. We sincerely apologize for the confusion and are working hard to prevent further misunderstandings. We hope to secure alternative locations for our "Day Laborers" to be picked up rather than local 7-Elevens if possible, which may help considerably. Stay tuned for updates.

Fundraising!

This election I continue to have confidence that my mother will continue her generosity and gave me the funds to jump-start my campaign, making me competitive this cycle with the incumbent, Congressman Rob Wittman. Since I've had such a hard time raising funds in the District (even though I have some patients in Fauquier County) this really makes a difference. It really helps that her Trust could get a tax break for giving me this money, which makes it easier to explain to her why I cut these checks. Did I mention that I'm so honored to be her trustee? You see folks, the power of hypnosis can really accomplish great things. Just imagine what I could do for the Congress if I could be on a committee that appropriates money? We could do so much good!

It sure beats selling my holdings in ExxonMobil, Pioneer, Hunt Oil, Chevron and Texaco. Oops, am I allowed to talk about that if I'm a progessive leader in the global warming movement? Disregard that. Really.

Licenses, Schmeisenses

Yes, I like to fox hunt, and I don't have a hunting license. Yes, I've practiced as a mental health professional although my Virginia license to practice had expired, as had my business license in Fauquier County. They're just arbitrary laws that can be easily overturned, which is why I am announcing that I support allowing undocumented immigrants to drive without licenses in the United States. It's just mean to demand that people get all those pesky licenses and keep them current. We have more compassion for these folks than to make them deal with getting licenses, don't we?

Campaign Photos!

Working hard for Judy "The Tiger" Feder! (although they make me stand in back)	Our patriotic duty! The enemy is us.	"Day Laborers" really like our food! Here we "fuel up" before a hard evening of phonebanking.
Diversity is our strength! This campaign has attracted new and exciting perspectives.	We must pursue a responsible foreign policy which does not cause hatred!	One of my patients helps fight for his right to have children!
The "Team Day Mobile" hits the road -- Get on board!	Global Warming Awareness Day	"Day Laborers" deliver materials for yard signs!